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LINEN, n. A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Kindness
Waste
Making
Great
Made
Linen
Kind
Hemp
Entails
Cloth

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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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MULTITUDE, n. A crowd the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration.
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EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
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PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.
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A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.
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The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.
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AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
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CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.
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QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.
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Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
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EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other-which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.
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CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
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MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
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Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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PICKANINNY, n. The young of the Procyanthropos, or Americanus dominans. It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
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