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MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Needs
Something
Commemorate
Commemoration
Monument
Intended
Structure
Either
Cannot

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MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.
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Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
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Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
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MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.
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PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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adore, v.t. To venerate expectantly.
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SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
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INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.
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SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.
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PIG, n. An animal (Porcus omnivorus) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
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LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.
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He laughs best who laughs least.
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RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
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PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.
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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
Ambrose Bierce
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UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.
Ambrose Bierce
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
Ambrose Bierce