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QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
King
Kings
Woman
Women
Ruled
Realm
Queen
Queens
Realms

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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.
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A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Convictions are variable to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
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HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
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TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.
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COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.
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REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a copy, which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose
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CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.
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San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
Ambrose Bierce
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PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.
Ambrose Bierce
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MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
Ambrose Bierce
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WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as liquor, sometimes as rum. Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
Ambrose Bierce
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Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.
Ambrose Bierce
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SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
Ambrose Bierce