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LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Aspect
Editing
Independent
Frequently
Found
Latter
Another
Newspapers
Useful
Independence
Functionary
Although
Infrequently
Species
Newspaper

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ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.
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Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
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FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.
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ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
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You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege - to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap!
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
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Noise: a stench in the ear.
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Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.
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LINEN, n. A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp.
Ambrose Bierce
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Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
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Phoenix, n. The classical prototype of the modern 'small hot bird.'
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PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
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WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.
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Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.
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The money-getter who pleads his love of work has a lame defense, for love of work at money-getting is a lower taste than love of money.
Ambrose Bierce
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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
Ambrose Bierce