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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Methods
Without
Composition
Kind
Aim
Dejection
Mind
Method
Elegy
Reader
Employing
Produce
Verse
Aims
Writer
Verses
Humor

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INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.
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LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.
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To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
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To Dogmatism the Spirit of Inquiry is the same as the Spirit of Evil.
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Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.
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Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
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INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
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RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.
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An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.
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K, n. A consonant originally precisely that of our H, but altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of [one of two lofty columns in] the great temple of Jarute.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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me, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Riven and torn with cannon-shot, the trunks of the trees protruded bunches of splinters like hands, the fingers above the wound interlacing with those below.
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To seek a justification for a decision already made.
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Doubt is the father of invention.
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Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
Ambrose Bierce