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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
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Dejection
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Elegy
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Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
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Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting
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Example is better than following it.
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Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
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INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
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A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.
Ambrose Bierce
LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
Ambrose Bierce
REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.
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Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. What! said one of his disciples, you weep at the death of an enemy? Ah, 'tis true, replied the great Stoic but you should see me smile at the death of a friend..
Ambrose Bierce
Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
Ambrose Bierce