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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Humor
Verses
Without
Methods
Kind
Composition
Mind
Aim
Dejection
Method
Elegy
Reader
Employing
Produce
Verse
Writer
Aims

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An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
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Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.
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Take not God's name in vain select a time when it will have effect.
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PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.
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Nonsense, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.
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PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.
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Advice, the smallest current coin.
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Contempt the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.
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PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.
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CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain.
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Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.
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Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.
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MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
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