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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Humor
Verses
Without
Methods
Kind
Composition
Mind
Aim
Dejection
Method
Elegy
Reader
Employing
Produce
Verse
Writer
Aims

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INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
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Happiness is lost by criticizing it sorrow by accepting it.
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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- I think that I think, therefore I think that I am as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.
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critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.
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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.
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HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.
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PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
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MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul in woman, the outlet of the heart.
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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
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Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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