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Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Account
Season
Bill
Bills
Duck
Seasons
Ducks
Accounts
Restaurant
Back
Canvas
Restaurants

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EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
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REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
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PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession it meant own, and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.
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Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
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MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
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When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
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Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
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A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
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HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.
Ambrose Bierce