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WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Certain
Male
Binding
Males
Primal
Powers
Energies
Service
Rebellious
Weakness
Dominion
Species
Weaknesses
Wherewith
Woman
Tyrants
Paralyzing
Energy
Holds
Tyrant

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Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
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Congratulations is the civility of envy.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- I think that I think, therefore I think that I am as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.
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REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
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Happiness is lost by criticizing it sorrow by accepting it.
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WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as liquor, sometimes as rum. Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.
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PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.
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Salamander: Originally a reptile inhabiting fire later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.
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An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.
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IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.
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ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
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PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.
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TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
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Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
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RACK, n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem.
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