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QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Another
Belonging
Persons
Pockets
Person
Showing
Many
Number
Usually
Numbers
Quotient
Times
Contained
Money
Pocket

More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

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LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.
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Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.
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Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.
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There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.
Ambrose Bierce
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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.
Ambrose Bierce
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Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
Ambrose Bierce
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Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
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FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs
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PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that - stone walls do not a prison make.
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Spring beckons! All things to the call respond the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
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PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.
Ambrose Bierce
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Ambrose Bierce
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Happiness is lost by criticizing it sorrow by accepting it.
Ambrose Bierce
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MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul in woman, the outlet of the heart.
Ambrose Bierce
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Fear has no brains it is an idiot.
Ambrose Bierce
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
Ambrose Bierce
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IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.
Ambrose Bierce
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DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.
Ambrose Bierce