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ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ears
Public
Voice
Good
Singer
Ass
Singers

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Historian - a broad-gauge gossip.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Uncommon extension of the fear of death.
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A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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New York is too strenuous for me it gets on my nerves.
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Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
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A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
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DISABUSE, v.t. To present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed advantageous to embrace.
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When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
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Mad adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves at odds with the majority in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.
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BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.
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Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.
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MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter (see Molecule). The monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation - containing all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher . .
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter
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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
Ambrose Bierce
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IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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