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GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Good
Sensible
Letting
Advantage
Worth
Writer
Present
Alive
Madam
Alone
Advantages

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To Dogmatism the Spirit of Inquiry is the same as the Spirit of Evil.
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When you doubt, abstain.
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To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
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Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.
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me, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.
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There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
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Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.
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PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
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DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.
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Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
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ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
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RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, Homo ventrambulans.
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IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
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Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for bliss.
Ambrose Bierce