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MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Good
Carriages
Wore
Humour
Kept
Dinner
Asked
Hypnotism
Clothes
Incredulity
Science
Carriage
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
A pessimist asked God for relief. Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness, said God. No, replied the petitioner, I wish you to create something that would justify them. The world is all created,said God, but you have overlooked something
Ambrose Bierce
Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future Age knows her as the Dream.
Ambrose Bierce
WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.
Ambrose Bierce
General, said the commander of the delinquent brigade, I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.
Ambrose Bierce
CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
Ambrose Bierce
ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
Ambrose Bierce
REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
Ambrose Bierce
Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
Ambrose Bierce
Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic
Ambrose Bierce
FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
Ambrose Bierce
Contempt the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.
Ambrose Bierce
Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
Ambrose Bierce
Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.
Ambrose Bierce
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Ambrose Bierce
REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.
Ambrose Bierce
Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
Ambrose Bierce
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
Ambrose Bierce
A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
Ambrose Bierce
ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.
Ambrose Bierce
adherent, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
Ambrose Bierce
