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WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Advantage
Justice
Change
Government
Good
Potomac
Exchanged
Governing
Privilege
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.
Ambrose Bierce
FORCE, n. Force is but might, the teacher said p/ That definition's just./ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ Force is not might but must!
Ambrose Bierce
KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
Ambrose Bierce
Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Ambrose Bierce
PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.
Ambrose Bierce
BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.
Ambrose Bierce
RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
Ambrose Bierce
Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.
Ambrose Bierce
Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.
Ambrose Bierce
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
Ambrose Bierce
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
Ambrose Bierce
Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
Ambrose Bierce
Advice, the smallest current coin.
Ambrose Bierce
COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
Ambrose Bierce
A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.
Ambrose Bierce
Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
Ambrose Bierce
CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
Ambrose Bierce
You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.
Ambrose Bierce
AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
Ambrose Bierce
The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.
Ambrose Bierce