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SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Whatever
Employ
Read
Commonly
Others
Collect
Happens
Distinction
Persons
Fool
Compile
Book
Happen
Edited
Many
Small
Containing
Books
Scrap

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CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.
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A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.
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An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.
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LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
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RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
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Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.
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Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
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COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.
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There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself whereas he is a fool then only.
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Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
Ambrose Bierce