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RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Oil
Squeezed
Fixed
Semi
Essential
Rite
Essentials
Custom
Law
Ceremony
Religious
Sincerity
Religion
Carefully
Customs
Precept

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PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
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Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.
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LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he lost his election.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.
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INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.
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WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss yet when lost it is not missed.
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A man is the sum of his ancestors to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.
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OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground.
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PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.
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Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.
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PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.
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