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CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Law
Body
Men
Repeal
Congress
Laws
Meet

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NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.
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ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
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moral, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
Ambrose Bierce
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Ambrose Bierce
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
Ambrose Bierce
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Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
Ambrose Bierce
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Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.
Ambrose Bierce
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REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.
Ambrose Bierce
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Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable as, the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur..
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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
Ambrose Bierce
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A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.
Ambrose Bierce
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Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.
Ambrose Bierce
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REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a copy, which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose
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REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.
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A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
Ambrose Bierce