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OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Given
Oyster
Without
Oysters
Sometimes
Removing
Giving
Shells
Men
Civilization
Hardihood
Gives
Slimy
Food
Shellfish
Poor
Entrails
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
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LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.
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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
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IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
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Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure
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LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
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Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
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I was born to poor because of honest parents.
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SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar tumble-bug. It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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applause, n. The echo of a platitude.
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