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OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Appeal
Perjury
Appeals
Deity
Conscience
Binding
Law
Deities
Upon
Penalty
Made
Oath
Penalties
Solemn

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Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.
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Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.
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Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
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PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
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Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
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resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
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No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. What! said one of his disciples, you weep at the death of an enemy? Ah, 'tis true, replied the great Stoic but you should see me smile at the death of a friend..
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Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
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One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of hands across the sea, and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night professions of eternal amity provide the nigh
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Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
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Convictions are variable to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.
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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
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To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.
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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.
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