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DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Another
Persons
Objectionable
Person
Particulars
Thing
Discriminate
Note
Discrimination
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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.
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VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
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To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
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FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.
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RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.
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Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
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Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. What! said one of his disciples, you weep at the death of an enemy? Ah, 'tis true, replied the great Stoic but you should see me smile at the death of a friend..
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Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
Ambrose Bierce
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CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
Ambrose Bierce
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Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
Ambrose Bierce
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PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.
Ambrose Bierce
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ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.
Ambrose Bierce
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A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
Ambrose Bierce
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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
Ambrose Bierce
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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
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