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CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Doe
Dog
Hades
Wanted
Later
Entrance
Whose
Entrances
Watches
Guard
Watch
Sooner
Duty
Appear
Nobody
Clearly
Everybody
Carry
Cerberus

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The place whereon the priest formerly raveled out the small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of divination and cooked its flesh for the gods. The word is now seldom used, except with reference to the sacrifice of their liberty and peace by a male and a female fool.
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Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.
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Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
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GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.
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Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
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GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.
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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion in Constantinople, one who does.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter
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INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
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Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
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aim, n. The task we set our wishes to.
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UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.
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Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral.
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I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.
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Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.
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Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
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ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.
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NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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