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FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ears
Tickle
Horse
Fiddle
Human
Friction
Humans
Tail
Tails
Instrument
Cat
Instruments
Entrails
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.
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EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.
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Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
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Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
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Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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War: A by-product of the arts of peace.
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PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.
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Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
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When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.
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