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SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose having a divine character inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions as... the Cow in India the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Thoughts
Divinity
Divine
Dedicated
Crocodile
Emotion
Cat
Onion
Religious
Emotions
Crocodiles
Purpose
Ancient
Onions
Character
Inspiring
Solemn
India
Egypt
Sacred
Cows

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READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in dialect and humor in slang.
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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.
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Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
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DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.
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PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.
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Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
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Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
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Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.
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JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
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