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MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Kill
Bowery
Science
Flung
Broadway
Humour
Stone
Medicine
Stones
Dog
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.
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Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
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applause, n. The echo of a platitude.
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PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
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INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.
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CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.
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Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.
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Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.
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One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.
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To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
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REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.
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WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
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EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.
Ambrose Bierce