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MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Broadway
Humour
Stone
Medicine
Stones
Dog
Kill
Bowery
Science
Flung

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The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.
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Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.
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A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.
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Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss yet when lost it is not missed.
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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
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CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.
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When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
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OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
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Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.
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LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg pate.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
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Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
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INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.
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Don't steal thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own you are permitted only to wish to be another.
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