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MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Science
Flung
Broadway
Humour
Stone
Medicine
Stones
Dog
Kill
Bowery

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Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
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PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
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Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere survivals - as funereal urns carved on memorial monuments. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.
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Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
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NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.
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INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.
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PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
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Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.
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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.
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EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.
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DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.
Ambrose Bierce
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Ambrose Bierce
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DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.
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PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Ambrose Bierce
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To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
Ambrose Bierce
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REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a copy, which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose
Ambrose Bierce