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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Pastime
Device
Promoting
Devices
Gentle
Intellectual
Exercise
Debility
Dejection

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adherent, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
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IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
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ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
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ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination . . .
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
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In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
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A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
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NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
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There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.
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ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.
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EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: O fudge!
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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