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RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Caucasian
Russian
Body
Persons
Soul
Person
Mongolian
Tartar

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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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Book - Learning : The dunce's derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impertinent ignorance.
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DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.
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MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.
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For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.
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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.
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REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.
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DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.
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ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
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Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
Ambrose Bierce