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PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Gentleman
Field
Private
Knapsack
Fields
Marshal
Military
Impediment
Hope
Baton
Impediments
Privacy
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.
Ambrose Bierce
Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
Ambrose Bierce
REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
Ambrose Bierce
The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.
Ambrose Bierce
MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
Ambrose Bierce
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Ambrose Bierce
SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.
Ambrose Bierce
Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered.
Ambrose Bierce
An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.
Ambrose Bierce
An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.
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Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Ambrose Bierce
Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.
Ambrose Bierce
recollect, v. To recall with additions something not previously known.
Ambrose Bierce
APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider
Ambrose Bierce
REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.
Ambrose Bierce
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
Ambrose Bierce
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
Ambrose Bierce
HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
Ambrose Bierce
