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PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Military
Impediment
Hope
Baton
Impediments
Privacy
Gentleman
Field
Private
Knapsack
Fields
Marshal

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A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.
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Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.
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Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
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Uncommon extension of the fear of death.
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In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
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BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker.
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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.
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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
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The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
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A modern school where football is taught.
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PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance if awkwardly performed . . . deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.
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You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.
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Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting
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PESSIMISM- philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.
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Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
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