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PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Impediments
Privacy
Gentleman
Field
Private
Knapsack
Fields
Marshal
Military
Impediment
Hope
Baton

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Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
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FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
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Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.
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COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
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An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.
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adherent, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
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Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
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Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
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In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
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ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.
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INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.
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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.
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A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.
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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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