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REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Dream
Counted
Signals
Soldiers
Sleeping
Noses
Soldier
Blue
Signal
Sleep
Battlefields

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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
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Historian - a broad-gauge gossip.
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INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.
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When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
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GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.
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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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He laughs best who laughs least.
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Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.
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ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.
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pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.
Ambrose Bierce
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hybrid, n. A pooled issue.
Ambrose Bierce
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Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain.
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UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.
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