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ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . .

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
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Wretch
Letters
Shifted
Name
Ingenious
Names
Rats
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Origin
Father
Letter
Cipher
Art
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Ciphers
Would
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Wags

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Immoral is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.
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K, n. A consonant originally precisely that of our H, but altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of [one of two lofty columns in] the great temple of Jarute.
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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
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REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.
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A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors - to dislodge the worms.
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Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
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GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
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DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
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actually, adv. Perhaps possibly.
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GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.
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Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.
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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
Ambrose Bierce
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RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable - omnipotent on condition that it do nothing.
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Die: To stop sinning suddenly.
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applause, n. The echo of a platitude.
Ambrose Bierce