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NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
High
Noblemen
Suffering
Incur
American
Provision
Social
Ambitious
Nature
Wealthy
Mind
Distinction
Life
Suffer
Minds
Nobleman

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A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
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SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.
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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
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Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.
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Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a crowned head, although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.
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YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.
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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
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EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: O fudge!
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We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.
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Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
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RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.
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PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.
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Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.
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Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.
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