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REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
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Understand
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Whoso
Trying
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Deity
Murder
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Deities

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PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.
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GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
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ENOUGH, pro. All there is in the world if you like it.
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REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.
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Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
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Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
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Twice – Once too often.
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A modern school where football is taught.
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PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.
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RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.
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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.
Ambrose Bierce