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ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Place
Assassins
Whole
Reminding
Long
Rope
Life
Neck
Mortal
Necks
Mortals
Appliance
Remains
Appliances
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.
Ambrose Bierce
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
Ambrose Bierce
GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.
Ambrose Bierce
Phoenix, n. The classical prototype of the modern 'small hot bird.'
Ambrose Bierce
OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an old man. Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an old book.
Ambrose Bierce
I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.
Ambrose Bierce
OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
Ambrose Bierce
CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.
Ambrose Bierce
Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.
Ambrose Bierce
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.
Ambrose Bierce
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
Ambrose Bierce
When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
Ambrose Bierce
IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.
Ambrose Bierce
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
Ambrose Bierce
picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
Ambrose Bierce
LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he lost his election.
Ambrose Bierce
RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
Ambrose Bierce
REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.
Ambrose Bierce
ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.
Ambrose Bierce
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Ambrose Bierce