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WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Living
Women
Domestication
Men
Rudimentary
Life
Susceptibility
Vicinity
Usually
Animal
Woman

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Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
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UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.
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CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
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FOLLY, n. That gift and faculty divine whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.
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ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
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gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.
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A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.
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pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.
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You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
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CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.
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NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.
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Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
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The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.
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