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BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Kind
Mystic
Ceremony
Spirituality
Determined
Worship
Substituted
Religious
Efficacy
Religion
Bath
Spiritual
Baths

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God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
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Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic
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Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.
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When you doubt, abstain.
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IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.
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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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PLATITUDE, n. The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. A desiccated epigram.
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There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.
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While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward the mirror is a poor guide.
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NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
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EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.
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LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.
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Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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A penny saved is a penny to squander.
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Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.
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