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CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Spirituality
Management
Method
Clergyman
Ones
Undertakes
Spiritual
Clergymen
Better
Temporal
Men
Affairs
Affair
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.
Ambrose Bierce
LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.
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Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.
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KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for bliss. It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
Ambrose Bierce
Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
Ambrose Bierce
IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
Ambrose Bierce
Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
Ambrose Bierce
RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.
Ambrose Bierce
Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion in Constantinople, one who does.
Ambrose Bierce
I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.
Ambrose Bierce
The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
Ambrose Bierce
Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
Ambrose Bierce
Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
Ambrose Bierce
An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
Ambrose Bierce
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
Ambrose Bierce
CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
Ambrose Bierce
Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women.
Ambrose Bierce
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
Ambrose Bierce
FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.
Ambrose Bierce
A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
Ambrose Bierce
