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LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Support
Heads
Infancy
Nature
Adult
Provision
Important
Males
Repose
Useful
Admirable
Adults
Plates
Festivities
Female
Chicken
Chiefly
Cold
Organs
Lap
System
Chickens
Rural
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
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There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself whereas he is a fool then only.
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HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
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WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions as, the wrath of God, the day of wrath, etc. . . .
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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
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critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.
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Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
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PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
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INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
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PICKANINNY, n. The young of the Procyanthropos, or Americanus dominans. It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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alone, adj. In bad company.
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Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.
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Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
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REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. . . . the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch.
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