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POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Politician
Mud
Mistake
Tail
Society
Trembling
Upon
Tails
Superstructure
Organized
Eels
Fundamental
Reared
Fundamentals
Edifice
Mistakes
Agitation

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Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.
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ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
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OVATION, n. n ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser triumph.
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EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.
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picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
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Don't steal thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.
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CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
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Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.
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PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
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JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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