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HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Heart
Seats
Organ
Stomach
Evolved
Useful
Fluid
Emotions
Chemical
Emotion
Seat
Food
Chemicals
Gastric
Known
Organs
Figuratively
Action
Sentiments
Reside

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KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
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PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.
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When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
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War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
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Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.
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You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.
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Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
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EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.
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Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Doubt is the father of invention.
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BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.
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Spring beckons! All things to the call respond the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
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MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.
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As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
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