Quote

HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.

Ambrose Bierce

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Would
Plague
Pharaoh
Wishes
Humorist
Quick
Pharaohs
Cat
Softened
Israel
Austerity
Wish
Humorists
Best
Persuaded
Heart
Dismiss

More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Image
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere survivals - as funereal urns carved on memorial monuments. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
A man is the sum of his ancestors to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar itching palm (Palma hominis) is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
Ambrose Bierce