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PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Men
Group
Figures
Leadership
Groups
Countrymen
Numbers
Positively
Small
Immense
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
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VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
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Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.
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A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit.
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Liar: A lawyer with a roving commission.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Nonsense, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.
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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
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ENOUGH, pro. All there is in the world if you like it.
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FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.
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Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future Age knows her as the Dream.
Ambrose Bierce
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Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
Ambrose Bierce
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TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.
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When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.
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Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
Ambrose Bierce
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Woman absent is woman dead.
Ambrose Bierce
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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
Ambrose Bierce