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CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Instrument
Boundaries
Instruments
National
Peace
Rectification
War
Cannon
Used
Cannons
Employed

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FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.
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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
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TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.
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When you doubt, abstain.
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CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.
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Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
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REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.
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Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
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ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.
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CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.
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Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.
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BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.
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