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Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Better
Country
Unenlightened
Thinking
Immigrant
Immigrants
Thinks
Another
Persons
Person

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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Take not God's name in vain select a time when it will have effect.
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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.
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OBSTINATE, adj. Inaccessible to the truth as it is manifest in the splendor and stress of our advocacy.
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moral, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.
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Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future Age knows her as the Dream.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.
Ambrose Bierce
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Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
Ambrose Bierce
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
Ambrose Bierce
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PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.
Ambrose Bierce
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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
Ambrose Bierce
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Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray big belly ache, heap God.'
Ambrose Bierce
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Nonsense, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.
Ambrose Bierce