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TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Consumers
Tariffs
Greed
Imports
Producers
Consumer
Taxes
Producer
Protect
Domestic
Scale
Designed
Scales
Tariff

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Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray big belly ache, heap God.'
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PERIPATETIC, adj. Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to avoid his pupil's objections. A needless precaution - they knew no more of the matter than he.
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DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.
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Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.
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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.
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QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.
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I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.
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Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
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Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
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APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
Ambrose Bierce
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
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IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.
Ambrose Bierce
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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
Ambrose Bierce