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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Something
Fortune
Good
Physical
Purely
Pain
Frame
Another
Caused
Body
Uncomfortable
May
Basis
Done
Bases
Mind
Mental

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An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.
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PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.
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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.
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MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.
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Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
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PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives.
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POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.
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Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
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War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
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Finance is the art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager
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YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.
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RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
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A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit.
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