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RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Subject
Property
Luckless
Subjects
Indolent
Trust
Incompetent
Rich
Accounting
Envious
Holding
Envy

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An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
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In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
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FORCE, n. Force is but might, the teacher said p/ That definition's just./ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ Force is not might but must!
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A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.
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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. What! said one of his disciples, you weep at the death of an enemy? Ah, 'tis true, replied the great Stoic but you should see me smile at the death of a friend..
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Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
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WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.
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A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Congratulations is the civility of envy.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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There's no free will, says the philosopher To hang is most unjust. There is no free will, assents the officer We hang because we must.
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UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.
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Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.
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