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RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Holding
Envy
Subject
Property
Luckless
Subjects
Indolent
Trust
Incompetent
Rich
Accounting
Envious

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NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
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RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
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ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.
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PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.
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OBSTINATE, adj. Inaccessible to the truth as it is manifest in the splendor and stress of our advocacy.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
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PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
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ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.
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CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
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COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.
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POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.
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