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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence an attribute of the critic.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Excellence
Critics
Attribute
Perfection
Critic
Elements
Distinguished
Quality
Attributes
State
Imaginary
Known
Element
States
Actual

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A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.
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RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.
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WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.
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Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
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Genius - to know without having learned to draw just conclusions from unknown premises to discern the soul of things.
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PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
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SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.
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Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
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Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
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MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
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The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.
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PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.
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Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.
Ambrose Bierce
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
Ambrose Bierce
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Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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